We're talking about the Narrative approach to family therapy. Basically it means listening to the person's story of how they made it to where they are and listening for the meaning they give to their story. I appreciate this model of therapy because everyone has a story and everyone finds different meaning in their story. The challenge is helping the person find meaning that is strengthening and self-supporting versus debilitating. How often do we put negative meaning on our experiences? How often do others put negative meaning on our experience for us? And how often do we see our story as strengthening and fueling us to move forward?
Lately I've been negatively framing my experience. I was visiting a friend in Memphis and listening to how passionate he was about what he was doing. It reminded me how I've not been passionate lately about anything. And I attribute it to the meaning I've placed on my experiences. My friend looked at the challenges he faced and built strengthening thoughts and ideas around them. I have built a path up to them and then allowed those challenges to stand before me like never-ending walls that could not be passed.
And it brings me to a quote I heard this past weekend when I was at the National Museum of Civil Rights. "Freedom is not a choice, it is an internal demand." Now it seems so simple a phrase. But when I heard it I felt empowered. It truly is an internal demand. Yet we are made to believe by others and ourselves that we cannot be free, that we must be bound by so many things. And this is where I think freedom can mean whatever one needs it to mean.
For me I'm not completely sure yet what I'm allowing to keep me bound up, but I hope in thinking about my story and praying about it too I can begin to see and hear the meaning I have given it and create new meaning that leads me forward and strengthens me.
