Purging

This last week I finally had some motivation to set foot in the attic. My attic is like the black hole that swallows you alive if you enter it because of all the stuff everywhere (I'm being nice by calling it stuff). We've been needing to clear it out as much as possible in order to continue our renovation project on the house. So I pulled out boxes one by one and went through them to determine what of my stuff might still be of use or sentiment to me. It was nostalgic to look through things I had not seen in over a year since I moved. And it was freeing to toss out many other things that I really had no use for anymore. But that was only the beginning as I could only carry a few boxes because others were just too heavy to get down the stairs alone.

But thankfully my parents came into town this past weekend and my husband and I with their help went through everything! Unbelievably you can see the floor in more than 2/3rds of the attic. We had all the piles going: trash, recycle, sell/charity, keep. And without too much thought, because if you think too much you decide you still need everything you really don't, we purged quite a bit of material baggage.

I still have the keep piles and sell/charity piles in the house, but soon they will have a new place and I look forward to it.

But much to my surprise the attic wasn't the only place we cleared and cleaned. After my parents had already left for their journey home, the DH decided the garage needed to be cleaned out. One could not imagine my excitement at this decision. So I happily helped him clean what is primarily his space in the garage.

And all I do now is take a deep breath in relief. Renovation will continue AND surprise! my dad offered to come and do all the electricity in the living room, kitchen, dining room, etc..

And finally the cars fit nicely in the garage!

We're talking about the Narrative approach to family therapy. Basically it means listening to the person's story of how they made it to where they are and listening for the meaning they give to their story. I appreciate this model of therapy because everyone has a story and everyone finds different meaning in their story. The challenge is helping the person find meaning that is strengthening and self-supporting versus debilitating. How often do we put negative meaning on our experiences? How often do others put negative meaning on our experience for us? And how often do we see our story as strengthening and fueling us to move forward?

Lately I've been negatively framing my experience. I was visiting a friend in Memphis and listening to how passionate he was about what he was doing. It reminded me how I've not been passionate lately about anything. And I attribute it to the meaning I've placed on my experiences. My friend looked at the challenges he faced and built strengthening thoughts and ideas around them. I have built a path up to them and then allowed those challenges to stand before me like never-ending walls that could not be passed.

And it brings me to a quote I heard this past weekend when I was at the National Museum of Civil Rights. "Freedom is not a choice, it is an internal demand." Now it seems so simple a phrase. But when I heard it I felt empowered. It truly is an internal demand. Yet we are made to believe by others and ourselves that we cannot be free, that we must be bound by so many things. And this is where I think freedom can mean whatever one needs it to mean.

For me I'm not completely sure yet what I'm allowing to keep me bound up, but I hope in thinking about my story and praying about it too I can begin to see and hear the meaning I have given it and create new meaning that leads me forward and strengthens me.

dichotomies

How does one avoid dichotomous organization of experience and thought?